Reflections of Reno Chapter 8

Slow Burn

By Christina Bruno

"You lie there on the swollen ground
Deserted in your heart
Still longing for what yesterday's lost and
for all that tomorrow might bring."
- Mercy, Sarah McLachlin

Of all of the people on the Mako made planet, it had to be Rude that would escort Reno to his "deathbed". Reno was limp in his old friend's arms as he carried him up to the attic of his humble home. Indeed, it was humble. The home was furnished in wood and not in the most prestigious part of town, but Reno kept his nasty comments for later. The pain ripping through his senses preoccupied him.

Rude gently placed Reno on the plush bed and looked down at him without a comment. Rude was always so damn laconic and obedient. Reno smiled to himself, remembering how Rude would do anything he asked of him. He had complete control of the glabrous fellow. And somehow, in between the throbbing, he wondered if he could still harness him.

Tifa stood beside the bed, looking down at Reno. He was lying on his stomach weakly breathing erratically in order to control himself. She knelt down on her knee in an attempt to get a glance at Reno's face. His half lidded piercing eyes just stared at her, diamonds in the room's darkness, beads of sweat clung to his eyelashes. She stood staring at the twisted expression on his face, she couldn't make out the measure of pain he was in, perhaps she didn't desire to.

Tifa wanted to say something comforting, but she didn't know what to say. She knew that Reno would lash out with a crude response and she wasn't in the mood. She was tired from driving…driving to save his ass. Tired from trying, and worrying over his worthless self.

Rude nodded to her catching her attention.

"Matches...they're next to the candle on the night stand." He was a man of few words, but whatever he had to say had a purpose.

Tifa turned and picked up the box of matches beside her. She struck one hard against the sandy surface on the boxes side. She stared at the newborn flame for a moment, and then lit the candle. She let out a soft sigh, causing the flame to dance just a tad.

She turned to watch Rude tear Reno's crimson stained shirt in two with his large hands. All of the Turk's had some mystery about them; Rude's was why he always wore sunglasses - even in the dark.

Rude leaned over the wounded Reno with a tweezers in his hand, Tifa's eyes widened as she watched Rude. The tweezers were right by the bullet wound, as Tifa raised her voice on impulse.

"Aren't you going to give him some pain killers first?"

"I don't need 'em -I'm a Turk..." Reno muttered.

Tifa let out a sigh and turned to Rude, in an attempt to ignore Reno's ignorance.

Rude nodded looking to Tifa; he had always been attracted to her. He glanced at her through his dark rimmed sunglasses and he still thought she was completely beautiful. His old job was to kidnap her, but he would do it now on his own free will.

Rude gently thrust the tweezers into the wound marked by the bullet. He probed around looking for it. Tifa could see the tool shift under the former-Turk's skin. Reno grit his teeth, he wanted to scream but he never would. Sweat ran down Reno's brow as he breathed unsteadily. He knew this wasn't the end, but the pain thought otherwise.

The tweezers' throngs finally clasped onto the bullet. Rude pulled it out swiftly, in a pathetic attempt to lessen the pain. Reno bit down on his lip hard, when he felt an aching rush as Rude removed the bullet. Blood gushed once the bullet was finally out. Tifa shook her head glancing at Reno whose eyes were closed tightly, she could see just a tad blood stain his thin lip. He had bitten too hard on it.

Rude reached into his pocket and pulled out his trusty cigarette lighter. He brought it to the opened wound and then pressed down on the black button. Tifa winced herself, as she watched the ice-blue flame burst from its fuse. It sealed the wound shut while scalding his already swollen skin an angry red as it killed all of the germs that may have infected the wound, while he waved the flame over it.

Reno reacted harshly, gripping unto the pillow his head laid on. He tugged on it with all of his strength clawing at the material, his breath hissing through his clenched teeth. Tifa looked at him, she couldn't believe that she was actually concerned. It was the motherly quality that she possessed; she was always caring so much for others, sometimes more than herself. She was amazed at his bravery, he still hadn't cried out in anguish. Apparently, pain hadn't loosened his ever persistent pride.

Reno jerked slightly after Rude pulled the flame away from the now closed wound. Tifa just watched him tentativly. He moved his teeth back, and released the tight grip they had on his lip. There were permanent tooth marks on his cherry tier. She could see tiny specks on crimson stained on it as well. Reno's face became must more relaxed after the entire ordeal was over. She watched him bury his face into the plush pillow. He still managed to grip unto the thing.

"Reno needs rest." Rude muttered, motioning towards Tifa.

He walked erectly in a perfect line as he stepped over the threshold of the door which led to the stairs. It was obvious that he had military training.

Tifa reached her hand out for a moment, but before she reached Reno's worn-out head she stopped herself. She didn't need one of his nasty responses when she was trying to be kind, and he sure as hell didn't deserve it. She believed this was the end of their rendezvous together; he would be able to reside with Rude.

Tifa stood on her own two feet and walked towards Rude who was already standing on top of the first wooden step. The staircase looked decrepit, and as she stepped unto it she could hear them creak. They were cries of their age and true worth - what had Rude become?

She waved her hand over her face, attempting to hold back a sneeze that the few spider webs and many dust particles had begun to set off. She watched as Rude seemed unaffected by the state of the stairway.

They both entered the kitchen, and it was more pleasant than the trip there. It had a wooden round table in the middle, and egg-shell colored refrigerator. The walls were made of an old, classic type of brick the type you'd find in your grandmother's house. It made her feel almost nostalgic. But then she remembered whose kitchen it exactly was.

Tifa made her way over to the kitchen table and sat down. Her glance wandered to the refrigerator; several newspaper articles were cut out and hung on the refrigerator with thin, rectangular magnets. They were all the same column, written by the same woman: Christine, otherwise known as Elena. Tifa wondered how she had done it. Elena had become extremely successful and although the papers wouldn't admit it: they knew she was a former Turk.

Tifa looked down and saw the paper before her and it was opened to "Christine's" column. She could tell that Rude was in love with Elena, it was obvious. This was his odd shrine to her, this collection of her words no matter how impersonal they were. But she had a feeling that that wasn't the only reason he was keeping track of her. He was keeping track of her success, in hopes, that one day he would be able to reach that intangible point.

Tifa smiled gently, and she placed her finger down on the paper. She sympathized with his long distance and unheeded love. Rude quickly turned and looked to her through his sunglasses. Did they only mask his eyes or his emotions as well?

"Elena…" He muttered, glancing towards the refrigerator and the newspaper. It was as if he was telling Tifa something she didn't know.

Tifa had heard those words come from his mouth several times before. She remembered the last time she had been in Gongaga she had run into both Turks. She and her friends had stood in the distance listening to Reno badger Rude for information. She remembered how Reno had said that he had been attracted to Aeris, and Rude had revealed that he had been interested in her. And suddenly, it hit her.

She had been doing it again. Tifa had taken care of Cloud, and he was intrigued by the very mention of the deceased girl's name. Reno had been interested in her as well. Nausea clenched its iron grip on her throat at this realization. Although they were two different people who hated eachother, they had that in common. Tifa knew that she had to leave Reno here, or she would be starting the vicious cycle of being second best in yet another mans eyes all over again. She would be caring for someone that only thrived for Aeris.

Tifa in no way, shape, or form envied Aeris in the least at least thats what she convinced herself everyday. Aeris was her friend, and she missed the girls comforting presence but even the best of friends experience envy, espeacially in love. Her mind also solidified another point: she was not attracted to Reno. She couldn't blame Aeris for both Reno and Cloud's amounting affections for her. It was just that she had gotten stuck with both of them. She had to end it now; no longer could she deal with being second best. It hurt too damn much.

Tifa's train of thought was brought to a halt when Rude slammed two cups of coffee on the table. It wasn't because he was fierce; aggressiveness was just a Turk's nature.

"…Thanks." She said as she wound her fingers around the cup's handle.

Rude cleared his throat and she suddenly noticed the fog of awkwardness that was surrounding the two ex-nemeses. Tifa knew that she would have to initiated some form of conversation, because Rude was anything but loquacious.

"So, what do you do here?"

Rude's eyes scanned the stunning Tifa behind his sunglasses. He had always fancied her and now she was standing right before him. Of course, he always held his affections inside - that would be plain rude.

"…Security guard, at the mayor's office." It was a mere sentence fragment, but it was all she needed to know. It was another Turk's futile fate after the fall of the Shinra. He was clad in the same clothes as always, but living under this tired old roof. Rude didn't seem dissatisfied with his life, yet he didn't seem pleased either.

The two sat in silence; it was only a few minutes but time passed lethargically. Tifa felt that she had been sitting before Rude, sipping coffee for eons. She couldn't stand eerie silence; at least Reno spoke with her when she stood alone with him. Rude was just there, letting out the same sigh, and making the same sound as he turned the pages of the charcoal matted paper.

"I'm going to go check on Reno, maybe bring him something to eat."

Rude wondered what exactly the two were doing together, and a part of him didn't want to know. A part of him envied Reno greatly. He was lucky enough to be wasting his worthless time on someone as precious as Tifa.

"…Toast?" Rude thought it would be best; Reno's stomach was probably unsettled.

Tifa stood on her two feet and Rude shook his head at her.

"I'll do it."

Tifa was so inclined to serving people, it was just her nature. Although Rude's words weren't even kind they made her smile to herself. Perhaps there was hope for man, somewhere. She sprung to her feet in sync with the toast as it popped up from the toaster. Rude placed the plain pieces of toast on a medium sized plate and handed them to her along with a cup of light coffee.

Tifa turned and walked up the stairs, leaving Rude to wallow in his silence alone. She had lived in the Midgar slums for far too many years to bear it. She decided to feast her eyes on a more forlorn sight, as she made her way up the creaky steps.

"Go away…" Reno muttered before she even reached the threshold. He could hear the floor whimper vaguely as she approached.

Tifa didn't respond at first, she just made her way beside him. He was in the same position they had left him in. He lay on his stomach, his head rested on the plush pillow, but the expression on his face was some what relieved. His eyes were like blue flames in the darkness, the luminosity was almost beautiful.

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't you want me to turn you over so you can at least eat something?" Tifa said to him. She decided she might as well be gentle to him for the time being. She would be rid of him soon, especially after the enlightment she had downstairs.

"I don't need your help, go talk to Rude." He winced just a tad as he took his right hand from beneath the pillow.

"And what will you do all alone in the dark?" Tifa mused, a soft smirk forming on her lips as she looked down at the grumpy Turk.

"Who cares? I'm a Turk, I don't need help." He twisted the two words around each other in anger. Once again he repeated the nostalgic phrase. When it came down to it, the poor boy was longing for the past and there was no one there to tell him otherwise.

"You were a Turk." Tifa didn't want to say it, but it was imperative. She knew that the truth hurt Reno, she could see the anger in his eyes and for some reason she didn't care. "And you do need help, everyone needs help sometimes."

"Shut the fuck up…" He muttered, he wanted to turn his head to shun her. The validity of the words struck him harder than that passing bullet had. He wanted to spit at her; she had caused all of this. It was the only way he could justify it all in his mind. But the sad part was that he knew that it wasn't true.

Tifa didn't know what to say in the response to his anger. She wanted to tell him that she was leaving him there with Rude and she hoped that the authorities would catch him. However, she knew that they weren't aloud to chase him across the Gongaga River. The casino owner's would probably send their own henchmen, equivalents to Turks.

"A Turk isn't who you are." She said in an attempt to comfort him or shut him up, either one was fine. She knew that Reno had to wake up and discover himself. She had done the same months ago.

Reno didn't know how to respond to that. No one had ever told him that before. No one had actually seen that there was more to him than a suit, a knight stick, and the Shinra.

"Now come on, just let me help."

Reno grumbled to himself, he knew she wouldn't give up. That was one of the qualities of a woman you couldn't get rid of: persistent nagging.

"Get me a cigarette…" All he craved was some nicotine. Hopefully it was subdued whatever was in him that was making him fond of Tifa. "They're in my back pocket."

Tifa nodded, putting the plate of toast and mug of coffee on the dresser. She approached the slim former Turk and looked down at him. At first, all her chianti colored eyes could see was his wound. It was sealed by the heat it had previously endured. It had formed an ugly scab and large red welt, the swelling would go down in time. She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the sight.

"Stop starin…" Reno commented, as he waited impatiently. If she was going to help, she might as well hurry it up.

Tifa shook her head and reached her hand into Reno's back pocket. She gently pulled out a carton of heavy, non-filtered cigarettes. The kind that the usual bad boy smoked in Corel, she wanted to laugh at how cliché he had seemed to her at that very moment. She could hardly read the label, but she could smell their intensity.

Reno almost jerked when he felt Tifa's soft touch within his garment. A small part of him enjoyed the warmth of her hands, even if they were covered by the cloth of his pants. He wondered if it was just the pain that made him feel vulnerable to her, either way it was friggin' pissing him off.

Tifa went back into the night-stand drawer and fired up one of the heavy-duty cigarettes. She had wrapped her own lips around it. She inhaled to get the stick started. The smoke was almost too much for her to bear. Sure, she had smoked before,she had worked at a bar in the slums. She had never inhaled something so potent, water welled up in her eyes and her throat constricted. She pulled it out of her mouth right away, and coughed just a tad. She wrinkled up her nose and looked towards Reno who was laughing at her. Dimly he realized she wrinkled her nose whenever something disgusted her, she looked almost...cute when she did that.

It was funny; she had never seen Reno smile over something so simple. He almost seemed happy at that moment. Her innocent error had caused the Turk happiness, she almost felt guilty.

Reno reached out a hand, which he had released from under the pillow a few moments ago, towards her. Tifa gently flicked the ashes that were growing on the thing off and placed into Reno's hand. It was hardly trembling from the pain he was going through. For who he was, he truly amazed her. He brought it to his lips very slowly and she watched his lips clasp it as if it he were a child, and the cigarette his can