Reflections of Reno Chapter 11
Rum and His Past Transgressions
By Christina Bruno
"Are flowers the winter's choice?
Is love's bed always snow?
She seemed to hear my silent voice.
Not love's appeals to know.
I never saw so sweet a face.
As that I stood before.
My heart has left its dwelling place.
And can return nomore."
-First Love, John Clare
Mt. Nibel was a place that had always intrigued Reno. The mountains were made of
the gruffest stone he had ever seen. They were mosaics with charcoal and ebony
tiles plastered everywhere pointed to the sky. The triangular tips of the
mountainous range cut across the skyline defiantly. The smog of the Shinra's
sins covered the range in an ember blanket.
Reno squinted his eyes as his hands clutched unto the leather wheel. He could feel his palms sweating, as he concentrated on the road ahead. He had been driving on the winding road for hours. It was rough terrain, complete with a bump here or there.
Tifa didn't seem to mind, she was fast asleep in the passenger's seat. Reno hardly glanced at her, he was too busy figuring the words every curve. Curves? He thought to himself. He found himself thinking of the slumbering girl, her figure was quite curvaceous.
She had always embodied innocence, but in her sleep she was truly the ingénue. A few of her stray sable strands wisped across her face, her ivory cheeks mantled in the moonlight. Her lips were puckered slightly, she was musing something in her dreams. His favorite part of her face was her nose; it was so tiny and adorable…
What the fuck was he doing? This was Tifa. But Oh God, her pulchritude was beyond parallel at that moment.
Reno stopped the car for a moment. He was at the bridge; it wasn't the old and feeble one he had seen in the past. It was a brand next sturdy one, make out of fresh clean wood. At least those, damn Mako-hating-wannabes were good for something around here.
He rolled SUV over the bridge warily. He continued to ponder. It was alright for him to be attracted to the Ancient and not to Tifa? He hardly knew the Ancient that was bull. But he knew Tifa, and he gut was telling him to go for his feelings. But there was no time for that, Rocket Town was right around the bend. It would be their time to part. If he dared to make a move on her, it would result in one of her stinging smacks. Worse, rejection would damage his ego.
Reno maneuvered the vehicle through the cave; he thought he had made a wrong turn when damn thing gave out. The car stopped short suddenly, releasing what it had left. Reno had really given the poor thing strain. He had shifted the gears to and fro, and he drove a lot more reckless than Tifa ever had. But hey, that was another characteristic that made him so fucking wonderful…
Tifa jerked forward, her body thrust over the dashboard hard. She opened her eyes slowly awakening from the blissful dream she was so enjoying. She stood still for a moment, laying her head gently on the dashboard. Her initial reaction was to pound his skull in for stopping the car so abruptly. But she didn't, she was thankful for the few words of comfort he had given her.
"Why did you stop?" She said softly, pressing her hands against the dashboard picking herself up.
"This car needs a break and so do I."
"Can you go check what's wrong?" Tifa yawned slightly, slumping back into the seat. She curled up, hugging her knees to her chest with a satisfied smile.
"What am I your slave now? I drive you once, and you go tell me what to do?" Reno smirked, looking down at her. He watched her crinkle up her nose again; he couldn't help but adore her when she did that.
Reno wrapped his fingers over the door handle and pushed it towards him slightly. He heard it pop, letting the door open slightly. He pushed it opened further, and placed his feet on the ground. He heard the crunch of the eroded stones beneath the soft, black rubber souls of his shoes.
His eyes turned to see a luminous glow from the center of the room. He did not want to approach it; he just stared at its magnificence. The glow came from a viridian stone atop of several sand-colored rocks. The white light shot to the ceiling, it was material in its natural state: a Mako fountain. It was amazing that it had survived this long, considering the fact that a Mako reactor lied on this mountain and it sucked a of the planet's spirit energy dry.
Tifa watched Reno stare at the natural wonder through the car's window. She took in a deep breath, and almost smiled to herself. She had remembered this scene clearly. It was when Sephiroth had mocked Cloud, because his ignorance did not give him the luxury of knowing that condensed Mako energy was material. Rather, it was Zack. However, she had two memories of the scene: One of Zack and one of Cloud. And the fact that they had laughed at Cloud gave her a sweet sort of pleasure. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn't resist. Perhaps Reno was rubbing off on her…
Reno focused back on the car and turned around. He stood right in front of the hood. He slid his fingers around it to find and opening and he promptly popped it open. His hands searched for the warm, metal stick that would devised to hold the hood up. When he found it, he took a look. He could feel the heat of the engine warn his face and he looked down, to find that nothing was wrong. He was right; the car needed a break just like him.
He simply reversed the process and putting the hood up and pushed it down after placing the metal rod back in its place.
"It's like I said…Tifa." Reno hadn't made a habit of saying her name, but his attraction to her just removed his inhibitions. And what he was about to do would dilute them further.
Reno made his way over to the back seat of the car, where he had conveniently hid a brown bag he had snuck out of Cosmo Canyon. He peeled the brown paper bag, revealing a bottom of hard, Cosmo Canyon rum. He was not an alcoholic, by now means, he had convinced himself. But he the time called for it, he hoped that the bottle would help him escape the reality that he was deeply attracted to the brown-haired beauty that was so close to him.
Reno twisted to the cap to the bottle opened, hearing it tear gently from the metal ring that was attached to the bottom of the cap. He took in its sweet scent, Reno was never a fan of rum but something had made him purchase it back at the canyon. Someone sweet had inspired him, someone as sweet as the sugar the bottle contained, the sable haired goddess herself.
Reno hopped on the hood of the car lying back against the window. He took a hard swing of the stuff, savoring its flavor as he rolled it over his tongue to and fro.
Tifa was in the process of rubbing her temples with her thumbs in a circular motion, in an attempt to stop the mild headache she had received from over-sleeping.
"Hey!" She huffed, tapping on the window from inside the car.
Reno just ignored her as he laid back, his eyes focusing on the brilliance of the Mako fountain. Was it right for Shinra to destroy such wonders? Oh what the fuck did he care anyway.
Tifa thrust the door opened; she was determined to stop him from drinking. She slammed the door shut, hoping to have an effect on him. It didn't.
"And just what are you doing?" She said going over to the front of him. She placed her hands on his hips, wrinkling up her nose in frustration. Goddamn, why did she have to do that?
"…Indulging…" Reno smirked, taking another swing of the sweet stuff. It wasn't his prime choice, but he didn't care. The bitch had inspired him, what could he say?
Tifa hopped on the hood of the car and stationed herself next to him. She let out a soft sigh, and rubbed her temples again with her thumb and forefinger.
"I wish you wouldn't drink…" Why did she wish he didn't drink? She had established the fact that she no longer hated him, but did she establish the fact that she actually cared if his liver deteriorated and never regenerated?
Reno noticed how she rubbed her temples, "You got a headache? Just take a sip." Reno extended his hand, complete with the bottle.
Tifa took it warily. What was he exactly trying to do? Get her drunk? He hadn't tried to take advantage of her before; she had a feeling that he respected her. He was just trying to help, perhaps to get her to see his perspective of things. And that was exactly what he was doing.
Tifa "indulged" as Reno had called it. Something she hadn't done in a long time. She took a single sip of the stuff and she enjoyed it. One sip, turned into a gulp, and a gulp turned into a swing, until the two of them ended up finishing the entire thing.
Tifa had noticed how amazing Reno's bright eyes looked when his pupils were dilated, and she looked over at him from time to time. He had hardly smiled at her; he just stood in his lax position, hiking his knee up. She moved closer to him, she wanted to repay him in some way for his "kindness". If that was even what it was, he had considered it a favor of some sort in his mind.
"…Reno?" Tifa gently inched her way next to him. She didn't know what she would say, she felt so tipsy she could hardly think. But she wanted to tell him that she didn't hate him. She wanted to tell him that he'd been generally good to her and she appreciated it.
Reno felt a tickle up his spine as Tifa moved closer to him, a stray strand of her hair brushed over his cheek. He could hardly take it, he didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to touch her, but he just couldn't. He didn't know why, some how she was special to him.
"Stop it!" He shuddered, almost dropping the empty bottle to the ground.
Tifa didn't know how to react. She simply wanted to talk. Why did alcohol make him so goddamn rotten?
"I'm sorry…" Tifa murmured, turning away from him. She didn't know what she had done to have gotten him so angry.
"Fucking Stop it…Stop it…now…" He was aggravated with her. How much more could she patronize herself before she put herself on a pedestal so low, she would end up on the other side of the planet's axis.
"…Stop what?" She was bewildered by him, she wanted to throw herself at his feet and cry. She didn't' know what had come over her, alcohol truly morphed her character.
Should he tell her what he really thought? Had it come to that? Would he able to tell her why she was so angry. If he was in his usual state of mind, he would have. But he wasn't.
"…Stop acting like my goddamn mother! Why do you always apologize?! You didn't even do anything wrong! Okay, so just shut the fuck up! What are you some kind of masochist?!"
It was the truth. His mother was a masochist and so was she. She was always apologizing, always blaming herself. Always striving to make herself ideal for others. He was goddamn sick of it! Why didn't she just be herself? He liked it when she was mad. He liked her who for who she was.
Tifa shook her head and moved towards Reno, she could see his hand trembling. It was a horrible sign, she knew this was something buried inside of him. Not once, had he ever heard him mention his mother. It was a soft spot, and perhaps she could touch on it calmly.
"…What about you mother, Reno?" Tifa placed her hand upon his shoulder with a soft smile. She squeezed his shoulder gently and looked upon him with concern in her eyes.
Reno had never seen that look in anyone else's eyes besides his mothers. Tifa looked upon him so gently and kindly, he wanted to tell his of his guilt so badly. And her touch, it made him want to give in just so he could place a so kiss on her mauve lips.
"…Whatever, she's dead now." Reno turned from her touch coldly, although his blood was warmer than usual and it wasn't the booze.
Tifa took her hand and placed it on his cheek gently, she turned his glance back to her.
"…It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Just because she is dead, she really isn't gone."
Reno just didn't respond, he just took in her soft touch closing his eyes. He had never felt something so gentle in his life, her grasp was softer than silk.
"How did she die?" Tifa used another approach to open him up.
Reno shuttered, she could see his facial expression change quickly.
"It's all my fault…" He had then realized what he had done. The words just flew off his tongue and he couldn't take them back. If he was lucky, she wouldn't remember what she had said. But he couldn't resist saying it, the more she touched him the more vulnerable he was…now that was the booze.
"…Reno…please…you can trust me…" She was feeling as challenged as him, but she did not want to hold back, "I care about you."
She had said it and it was a shock to Reno's heart. The little heart that he had left, it made him feel fulfilled. He could see the concern in her eyes, but now he knew he could no longer hold back. This was his opportunity, someone actually fucking cared about him. If he was sober he was would away, but he couldn't…
"…It's nothing. My dad treated her like shit…and…"
Tifa softly rubbed her thumb over his cheek bone with a smile.
"…and one night, he was coming home. My mom…" Reno closed his eyes for a moment savoring the girls touch and digging up the painful memories. The canceled eachother out, he supposed. But her touch was so much more real.
"…She told me take a bath. But I left the water running…and my dad was drunk…" Reno's eyes shot opened, and he looked towards the empty bottle in his hand. He threw it down to the floor, listening to it crash. It was as if it was burning, he realized that he was in his father's familiar state.
"Shh…it's okay." Tifa took her free hand, and placed it into the hand that had shattered the bad habit to pieces.
Reno ran his thumb softly over her hand, he felt a bit calmer after that. He didn't know what he was doing, but he knew that he liked her. He knew that he liked her…
"…And…he come upstairs….to get me….and my mom, she followed? And he threw her, he threw her. And I watched her fall…"
Tifa released both hands and wrapped her arms around him tightly, and Reno fell into her arms naturally. He lay his head on her shoulder, but he did not cry. His tears were no good.
"…He wanted me…Not her. I let her die…I killed her." He murmured, pressing his lips on the skin of her bear shoulder.
Tifa pitied him at that moment; she had never imagined that Reno would ever blame himself for anything. He seemed so confident and cold, but it was just a face he had fun on the shroud his past.
"…Reno…" Tifa lifted his head from her shoulder, and looked into his eyes. There so luminous and enigmatic she felt as if she were getting lost in them.
"It's not your fault Reno. It was your father's fault. He was a bastard. You can't blame yourself, and you're mother doesn't blame you either. It was his fault, not yours. Do you understand?"
Reno simply nodded looking down at her. He had never revealed his past to anyone, in fear of what they might say. But what she had said to him, made an impact. He was thankful. She was so kind and perfect, although she was her former enemy - he could confide in her. And at that moment, all he saw was her as he leaned over her. He closed his eyes, and he still saw her angelic face as his trembling lips landed on her soft mauve tiers in a long awaited kiss…
Tifa didn't know how to respond, only to return the tender gesture. She felt Reno's gratefulness flow through the electric embrace. She felt Reno's hands wrap around her waste, pulling her closer to him. The long awaited kiss was full of sugar and rum and she forgot his past transgressions. She kissed him only for that moment.