CHAPTER 27
"Uuuhhmmm..."
The preceding was brought to you by Zack, who just realized that in order to get into the security office where key cards were made, one first needed a KEY CARD TO GET IN.
Before AVALANCHE stood a large metal double-door way, to the right of which was a slot for sliding a key card to unlock the twin barriers. Tifa was about ready to smack the former SOLDIER for not realizing that this might be an issue, but she realized it wasn't his fault that Shinra upgraded its security measures in the five years he was incapacitated. Also, no one ELSE had thought this might be a problem, least of all her, so she didn't make a fuss about it. Still, this was another obstacle they had to overcome before the real mission even started, not to mention they were all out in a brightly-lit hallway, wide open to discovery.
Jessie closely inspected the card-swipe mechanism, trying to ascertain whether or not she could activate it manually. She might be able to do it electronically and fool it into thinking that she had a card, but she didn't have the appropriate tools on her. She might be able to pry the casing off and cross some wires, but it would be too easy to set off an alarm if she did anything wrong. Shrugging, she took a step back, held out the staff Elmyra had given her, and smacked the lock hard with it. The thing gave off a loud beep before it cracked and crumbled onto the floor.
"Jessie!" Dyne protested. However, before he could reprimand her on being so reckless, the doors began to slide open. He simply blinked, dumbfounded that such a tactic would work.
Inside, there was a semi-circle of monitors surrounding a chair, in which lay a sleeping guard. Tifa crept up on the man and tapped him on the shoulder. Stirring, the security officer just barely managed to open his heavy eyelids when Tifa K.O.ed him with a palm to the face, causing him to collapse onto the floor. Brushing off her hands, she couldn't help but quip, "And we're supposed to be afraid of these guys?"
"Hey, I used to work for 'em too, ya know!" Zack responded.
Tifa gave the former SOLDIER a wry smile and raised an eyebrow, "My comment still stands," she couldn't help but say. She pulled the guard off to the side so Zack and Jessie could get to work.
"Make sure you guys make a few, just in case..." Dyne said, though he figured he might be stating the obvious. Looking around the room, he noticed it was actually kind of dark, the only illumination coming from the twenty or so screens. The room began to darken a bit more, and he turned around, only to realize that Cloud had taken the initiative of closing the doors.
"Good thinking," Tifa complimented, leaning against the wall and folding her hands in front of herself.
Cloud just shrugged. "Well, we don't want to be discovered, right?" he stated in a somewhat matter-of-fact tone.
Tifa crossed her arms and looked at the former soldier as he proceeded to pretty much just stand around like a statue, an almost blank look in his glowing, light blue eyes. "Something wrong?" she asked after a few silent moments. Zack and Jessie were laughing about something or other, and Dyne had to keep telling them to stay on task, so the moments weren't all THAT silent, but she was focused on Cloud at the moment.
Cloud looked at Tifa, shrugged, muttered something like "Not really," and went back to staring off into space.
"Are you sure? You've been pretty quiet," the young ninja pressed, not entirely convinced that Cloud was being honest. She flashed her large brown eyes at the stubbornly reclusive young man, trying to read him or get some kind of reaction.
Cloud kept his composure and didn't say anything, that is until Tifa moved away from the wall, and took a few slow steps closer to him, swinging her hips a bit. His heart skipped a beat, and raced to catch up. He repressed the urge to gulp, back up or look away, though for once, his stubbornness did not suite him as that meant now that the two wound up a few feet apart, eyes locked.
"What's wrong?" Tifa asked softly, oozing concern.
I'm worried sick that we're all going to die here and we're risking our lives for someone we hardly even know -well except Zack- who if you ask me is a bit loony and HELL, I'm with people I hardly even know and I've had a crush on you since we were kids and here you are looking at me like you want to kiss me but I know you don't really want to and I'm trying to look cool because I'm really not and I feel like I'm going to vomit....
Cloud sighed and faked what passed for a smile. "Nothing, really... Thanks for the concern though, I mean it."
"Well, okay," Tifa conceded, realizing she wouldn't get the young man to open up today, "But you know that if there's ever anything you want to talk about, I'm here for you. I mean, we're friends, right?"
Friends?! You barely ever talked to me back home and we just got reacquainted like a couple days ago and I want more than just friends but I can't get it because I can TELL you like Zack so nothing's ever going to happen and I'm a loser anyways and you have the nerve to say that we're friends?!
"Yeah, thanks, Tifa."
The busty brown-haired beauty (say THAT five times fast!) put an assuring hand on Cloud's arm and slid away, keeping their gazes locked until her head was fully turned away. She went over to where the others were supposed to be diligently working.
"Zack, would you concentrate instead of looking at the camera for the women's locker room?!" Jessie protested.
"Only if YOU concentrate instead of looking in on the men's locker room!" Zack shot back jokingly.
"Gimme a break, at least the guys are hot, there's nothing special about any of those girls you keep looking at!"
Suddenly, two shadowy, lightning-quick fists shot out, destroying both screens in question, causing quite a scare for the bickering duo. They both turned around slowly and saw Tifa standing behind them, hands on her hips, tapping her foot and giving them an impatient look. Jessie was in the chair while Zack was half-kneeling on the floor, holding himself up on the control board. He noticed his head was almost at level with Tifa's chest, and gave her a mischievous glance...
"Hey, wanna move in a little closer?" he teased. "I could use a pillow over here!"
Tifa's face started to turn a slight shade of red. Her eyes looked angry, but her lips slowly formed into a smile, so no one knew what exactly was going through her mind. "You mean like this?!" And with that, she grabbed Zack's head and shoved it right into her chest, throwing him off-balance, both physically and mentally. The relative comfort lasted about a second, before Tifa's thumbs jabbed Zack right above the jaw and pulled his head back away, sending pain jolting through his entire system. His eyes twitched, while he couldn't help but bare his teeth, feeling like he was on the receiving end of a very slow-moving electric shock. The ninja finally released him after a moment, and tapped him on the forehead near where the grappling hook had hit him before, sending him falling back and crying out in pain.
"Oooowww.. Dammit Tifa, what's your problem anyway?!" Zack retorted, a hint of anger in his voice.
"My problem is that you're a just smart-alec pervert who relies on hiding behind a.. a.. a dumb-innocent and joking exterior to make people like you, a-and you're just.. you're just a jerk and I wish you'd cut it out."
There was a brief silence as Zack contemplated what to say next that WOULDN'T result in Tifa killing him.
"Who're YOU calling a jerk?! YOU'RE the one who's been PMSing all over me since I got here!" he retorted, standing up.
Tifa remained silent as she supposed the young man had a point... she DID greet him with open arms, though... for about two seconds before she attacked him. She had other issues besides him, and she had been unfairly targeting him. BUT he'd been so damn annoying that he hadn't left her much choice but to respond the way she had so far... Finally she let out a very audible sigh, and forced her hands to her side.
"I'm sorry, okay? I just don't like the way you treat me and I'd appreciate it if you didn't act like such a perverted jerk around me," she explained.
"Who's acting?" the former SOLDIER quipped.
Tifa gave Zack an angry, "if-looks-could-kill" glance and stormed off. She turned around when she reached Cloud though. "Why can't you be more like Cloud? At least he respects people!"
Cloud just looked at his old acquaintance with lowered eyes and said, "Hey, leave me outta this..."
"You're not worming your way outta this one, Mister Strife!" Tifa proclaimed. "Remember our promise? Well, time to live up to it: Beat Zack up!"
"Now hold on..." Zack protested.
Cloud shrugged and cracked his knuckles. "Guess I can't argue with that..." He walked up to Zack and unenthusiastically punched him lightly once in the ribs. He blinked and turned around, retreating to the back of the room to lean against the wall.
Tifa put a hand to her hip and raised an eyebrow at the blonde. "You're no fun," she lamented.
"Would it help if I pretended that hurt?" Zack asked.
"It would help if everyone was quiet," Dyne muttered aloud.
"Actually, that's kinda moot," Jessie proclaimed, swiveling around in the chair and collecting five slips of plastic that were ejected from a machine that sat off to the side. "We's got's cards!"
The hacker gave everyone their own card, but had some bad news. "I couldn't get a password for the key cards needed for access above the 67th floor.. but since the jail's on that level, that shouldn't be a problem, right?"
"Maybe," Zack mused, "Hopefully, she'll be down there and not up in Hojo's lab. But even if that's the case, I think we'll be able to find a work-around."
"So are we done here?" Cloud queried.
"Not quite," Dyne informed him. He turned around to Jessie and told her, "We should de-activate the alarm system... can you do that?"
"Mmm, 'fraid not," the girl responded. "It was hard enough hacking a password for these cards, but to de-activate the alarm, I'd need an admin password and a hand-print ID, maybe even vocal verification. It's pretty high-tech."
"Says the girl who got us in here by smashing an electronic lock," Cloud pointed out.
"Well, hehe, yeah," Jessie conceded.
"And speaking of which," the blonde-haired man continued, "Why couldn't we've just done that for the other floors?"
A sea of dumbfounded, blank stares was Cloud's answer. He felt a tinge of demented satisfaction for a brief moment, but it quickly passed.
"Oh, be quiet..." Jessie mumbled as she stood up to walk out.
"So now where to?" Tifa inquired after a moment of silence.
"The Sixty-Seventh floor, of course," Zack replied, "That's probably where they're holding Aeris, and..."
"Hold on," Dyne interrupted, being pre-occupied by the contents of a read-out.
"Something up?" Jessie asked.
Zack snickered.
"What's so funny?" Tifa asked the wise-cracking ex-SOLDIER cautiously.
Cloud interjected before Zack could respond, though. "I don't think you wanna know," he informed her while giving the taller man a slight push. "Pervert," he whispered to Zack.
"According to this," Dyne spoke, "There's an executive meeting soon on the 66th floor... all the Shinra big-wigs are supposed to report there within a half an hour or so..."
"Why would they have a meeting so late, though?" Jessie wondered.
"Late?" Zack asked. "Wait a sec... I left Aeris's around five in the morning, and then another hour or so later, we ran into Cloud and Tifa.. and it took us a couple hours to get outta the sewers and train yard... then that fight at the pillar lasted a little under an hour.. we spent a good two hours at Elmyra's, and it took another hour to get up the plate and its been a little under 20 minutes since then... shouldn't it be like, noon?!"
"Zack, stop pointing out plot holes. The clocks say it's 9 at night, so it's 9 at night, okay?" Cloud mumbled.
"Uhm, what're you two talking about?" Jessie asked.
"Nuttin," Zack quickly responded, "So we gonna crash this meeting first or what?"
"I dunno," Dyne mused, "It would be tempting to somehow listen in, but doing so discreetly might be impossible."
"Actually, I'm sure we could..." Zack started to explain with a shrug, "I had to install some cameras and recorders once in an air duct that goes right over the room, 'cuz the President insisted on recording all his meetings. I think I can get us back in there."
"Why did YOU have to install cameras?" Tifa asked pointedly.
"Uh, espionage training?" Zack tried.
No one bought it.
"Okay, okay, I'd skipped a training session one time, so I had to be the President's errand boy for a week..."
"Nevermind that," Cloud said. "How do we actually get in there?"
Twenty minutes later, AVALANCHE found themselves in yet another bathroom, this one on the 66th floor. A toilet stall more specifically. Zack was balancing himself on top of the thankfully pre-flushed toilet, busying himself with an overhead grate.
"Hey, someone ask me how I'm feeling!" Zack requested, smiling down at his friends.
"Ooo-kay," Jessie said hesitantly as she blinked. "Uhm, how are you feeling??"
"I'm FEELING GRATE!" he said, brushing his hands against the metallic barrier and beaming his companions a wide, toothy smile.
Everyone groaned very loudly. There was some mild cursing, as well.
"Dyne, shoot him. Please," Cloud pleaded. The AVALANCHE leader just humorously shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Cloud, but there are some things in this world that violence just won't solve," Dyne informed the younger man with a bit of a sarcastic tone.
"Says the guy with a gun attached to his arm who also raised a militia..."
"Yeah, that was the joke," Dyne stated flatly.
"Go-o-ot iiiittt!" Zack sang, prying the metallic grate from the ceiling. He offered out his hand, and started boosting the others up into the small vent, starting with Dyne, then Jessie, then Cloud, who he spanked hard on the behind on the way up, causing his friend to yelp in protest. Zack then offered to help Tifa up, who waived him off. Faster than Zack could blink, the ninja leapt up into the crawlspace, prompting Zack to holler "Show off!"
"Quiet down!" Dyne hissed. It would not serve the companions well if they were heard and subsequently captured. And given that the whole crawl space was made of aluminum, their echoes could very well be heard anywhere on the floor. However, this was a moot issue, as soon they were situated above the conference room, which they could see through a grate.
The conference room had gold-painted walls, which were adorned by pillars and fake torches. In the middle was a large oak table with seating for twelve, as well as a slightly larger chair at the head of the table. The twelve normal chairs were swivel seats which were attached to the large desk at their bottoms, and had fold-out arm rests. Each seating area had an accompanying computer built into the space in front of it, as well. A large window in the back of the room displayed the outside, though the view was obstructed by darkness and smog. In fact, it was a pretty standard conference room in every other way, save for one notable exception...
"It's empty," Zack observed.
"So's your head, now shush," Cloud muttered.
"Dude, just because you want me and can't have me is no reason to get all pissy!"
"...Shut up."
"Guys, shh," Jessie warned. "Someone's coming!"
The large double doors to the conference room opened, and in spilled a plethora of executives. There was Heidegger, dressed in his usual green colonel's uniform. Then sitting next to him was Palmer, head of Shinra's long-defunct Space Program. He was a short, fat man who was mostly bald, save for the sides and very top of his head. What little hair he had was in a bit of a disorganized mess, which only made him look worse in a ratty green sweat shirt and blue sweat pants that had a small hole on the right knee. Finishing his ensemble was an old, worn out pair of Reecob sneakers.
Across from Palmer sat Scarlet, head of the Weapons development program. She was dressed very conservatively with a blood-red dress jacket over a pink button down shirt which was buttoned all the way up, covering her super-model body and topped-off with a small metal broach. Her long blonde hair was put up in a bun, though a few strands managed to make their way in front of her aged, dark blue eyes. Completing the look was a dark red knee-length skirt, dark pantyhose, and one-inch high-heels which matched her skirt and jacket. Next to her was Reeve, dressed in the same light blue suit he had been wearing earlier, though he was also unshaven, making his goatee look less impressive. He was supposed to have taken the rest of the day off, but felt like coming back in this time of crisis out of some demented sense of loyalty.
The President himself hobbled in last, his head hung lazily. He was stressed, drunk, and tired. And it showed. Shinra quietly took his seat at the head of the table.
"Couldn't this've waited 'till morning?" Palmer complained with a yawn.
"Like your fat ass would've been able to wake up on time!" Heidegger spat. He then turned to the president, and asked, "Why do ya keep him around?!" indicating Palmer. "We haven't had a space program since the 'Shinra no. 26' disaster, so why do we even need a department for space exploration?!"
Palmer lowered his eyes. "We also haven't had a war in over five years, why do we need a Department of war? Oh, that's right, you had to be renamed head of the 'peace preservation' to keep SOME sense of usefulness..."
"AHEM" Scarlet coughed, "If I wanted to see two fat men fight, I'd watch a sumo match," she pointed out politely. "SO BOTH OF YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS!" she shouted, slamming her palms on the table in a complete behavioral about-face.
"You gotta be the most manic/depressive, bi-polar bitch I've ever had the displeasure of knowing," Heidegger grumbled.
"Can't we just have a normal meeting for once?" Reeve whined silently, shaking his head.
"Reeve's right..." the President mumbled, "Reeve.. shtart ush off... How're we lookin'?"
"Well," Reeve started to reply, standing up. He punched in a few keys on the terminal in front of him, bringing up various bits of information. "Sectors Seven and Eight are gone, and Six is actually still somewhat intact.. but given the damage, it would have to be almost completely replaced anyway. Our R&R teams are receiving complaints that enough isn't being done to help survivors, and we have scattered reports of AVALANCHE helping out, too, though for some reason, our troops are cooperating with them instead of..."
"WHAT?!" Heidegger interrupted, "Someone get me on a comm. channel, I'm going to order them to attack!"
"Actually..." the president started, "Leave it alone f'r now... we'll get the vermin later," he insisted.
"..Anyways," Reeve began to continue, "Considering all the factories, investments, etcetera that were in those sectors, our estimated immediate economic loss is approximately 70 million gil... which, by the end of the year, will cost us about 2 billion gil in lost profit. Rebuilding will cost..."
"We're not rebuilding."
"I beg your pardon, sir?!"
"We dun need to. On the way here, I talked to Profesher Hojo, who'll be in mome.. moneterr.. soon. And we will soon enough have the means to pursue the Neo Midgar plan!"
"That is correct," came a nasally voice. The source, Professor Hojo, walked in, maintaining a vulture-like posture as he did so. "Now that C-2 is back in our custody, we will be able to discern the existence, and then location, of the fabled 'promised land', which, if I am not mistaken, is the president's ideal location for Shinra's 'new glory'?"
"How far along are we in that?" the President asked, already beginning to sober up.
Hojo sneered for a moment before answering. "Well, due to Tseng's incompetence, I haven't had much of a chance to study the specimen. We've just begun comparing her to her mother, C-1. Though our limited data is already suggesting that the research will take far too long... longer than any of our lifetimes.. or that of the specimen's for that matter."
"Won't that hinder our plans?" Shinra inquired, a bit of displeasure present in his voice.
"No... We'll find your 'promised land', if indeed it exists, soon enough... I meant for studying the Cetra for scientific purposes. The data could take well over a century to tabulate..."
"Well," Reeve interjected, "If that's the case, what's the point? You'll BOTH be dead before the research is finished!"
"My lifespan is not an issue," Hojo answered, "I shall start the research, and someone else will finish it. It is the way of science, and I am more than happy to oblige. As for the specimen, we can breed her with a special creature we've found which will hopefully produce a child that is both Cetra AND will possess the other creature's longevity."
"Uh, 'creature'?" Scarlet asked, "If it's not even human like you're implying, well... I'm no scientist, but are you sure the DNA would be compatible?"
Hojo raised an eyebrow. "Yes, ordinarily, that would be an issue. But I've taken... steps to ensure their compatibility."
"Well, I applaud you for your foresight, Professor Hojo." Shinra said. "Reeve, have Mako rates world-wide increased 25%, so that we can help cover our losses and fund Hojo's research."
"Ooh, can our space program have a slice of that pie?!" Palmer wondered out-loud and wide-eyed. His outburst went unanswered, though, causing him to sulk back down into his chair.
Reeve gave Shinra a sour look. "Since when did I become an accountant...? No, that's not important. Raising the rates that much will cause people to riot! We'll lose face.. people might actually stop using Mako, and we'd end up with even less profit!"
Shinra returned Reeve's sour look... then burst out with laughter. "Oohh, that's a good one! 'Stop using Mako'.. haha! Eehh, Seriously, let's call this meeting quits already. We have a big next couple of days..."
At that, the executives stood up and piled out of the room, ignorant of their audience in the air ducts above them...
"'C-2'? 'Specimen'? He better not've been talkin' about Aeris like that!" Zack proclaimed.
"Well," Dyne started, "From what I've heard, Hojo is what you'd call a narcissistic prick..."
"Narc-i-sisi-what?"
"...Never mind. Regardless, it looks like the situation just got a lot more dire, especially if Hojo plans on 'breeding' Aeris any time tonight."
"Well what would the chances of that be?" Cloud wondered, "He said he's hardly even had the chance to start his research..."
"Let's not find out and go save her," Tifa suggested.
"Right!" Jessie replied enthusiastically, "It's time to get daannngerous!"